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me and NathanThis week’s pick is an infographic from Mom Junction.

Sometimes parents will refer to Attachment Parenting as a parenting “style.” To be accurate, though, Attachment Parenting International refers to Attachment Parenting as a parenting approach. You may be wondering what the difference is.

It comes down to the scientific definition. Researchers identify 4 parenting styles — broad categories under which are various approaches, or ways of relating to our children. Attachment Parenting is a specific approach that falls under the broader Authoritative parenting style. Read about the 4 parenting styles in this The Attached Family article.

There is some discussion about whether the Authoritative parenting style gives justice in categorizing Attachment Parenting. In question specifically is the non-punishment aspect of positive discipline. Often, other approaches that fall under Authoritative parenting may include logical consequences or other forms of discipline that have a punishment element. Judy Arnall, author of Parenting With Patience, proposes the addition of a 5th parenting style — Collaborative — in this The Attached Family article.

For now, with the current 4 established parenting styles, Attachment Parenting most closely identifies with the Authoritative parenting style, particularly regarding child outcomes.

Parenting-Styles-You-Should-Be-Aware-Of

*Courtesy of: MomJunction
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kelly shealerOver the past few months, my 3-year-old son has been going through a phase of hitting his brother and sister when he’s angry.

I’ve been working a lot with him, telling him that his angry feelings are okay but that hitting isn’t, and trying to find better ways for him to express that anger. But still, every time he was provoked by his brother or had a toy stolen by his sister, he was quick to hit them.

It has been frustrating for me.

Sometimes, it feels like we keep trying to get the same messages across to our children with no results. We wonder, Why aren’t they getting it? It feels like we’re failing or doing something wrong. But it’s just that it takes time and consistency with young children.

I remind myself of how many times I had to redirect my 1-year-old daughter from pulling books off the shelves. She didn’t get it after the first or second time. It took a lot of time, a lot of patience, and a lot of consistency on my part. It’s the same with a toddler who’s learning to manage emotions.

We may feel sometimes that our children aren’t even listening. But they are. And they’re learning from what we model to them, too. Every time we stay calm when we’re angry, they notice it. Every time we allow strong feelings while stressing limits, they notice it. And this will pay off.

Recently, my oldest son did something to upset my 3-year-old, and I saw my younger son run after him, ready to hit. Even before I could intervene, he stopped. Instead of hitting his brother, he hit the bed. I saw the brief pause — that moment where he gained control of himself and channeled his anger into something that wasn’t going to hurt his brother. That moment was huge.

But even when our children do finally get it, it won’t be 100% of the time. There will still be emotional fights over toys, and times during the day when they’re tired and more easily upset. Even adults have difficulty managing emotions at times, and we don’t always handle our own anger the right way. Our children won’t always, either — because they’re human and because they’re still learning.

We just need to remember to be patient with the process of teaching them.

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Editor’s pick: To promote breastfeeding is to promote Attachment Parenting

February 2, 2016
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This week’s article is a new breastfeeding report published Jan. 28 in The Lancet. This medical journal feature has already received a lot of attention in the media, and rightfully so. According to the report, universal breastfeeding has the potential to save the lives of 823,000 children and 20,000 mothers each year through fewer infections, […]

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Being present for another

January 28, 2016
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Editor’s note: This post was originally published on Oct. 26, 2008, and it continues to inspire parents to give presence to their children. I find the whole concept of “being present” for another person so relevant to our world. How many of us have not really been given sufficient presence by our parents while we […]

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Editor’s pick: The heart of Baby Courts is attachment

January 21, 2016
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Beginning this week, Attachment Parenting International (API) will be publishing weekly Editor’s Pick posts — through which we’ll be highlighting an article or blog post that takes a look at attachment science as it increasingly becomes commonplace in our society. This week’s article, “Judges Are Using Brain Science to Help Babies Caught in the Court […]

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Our kids in the midst of parents’ hostile conflicts

January 19, 2016
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We often refer to kids as “sponges” due to their astonishing ability to absorb so much of the information around them. We are often amazed at their capacity to learn ever so quickly and soak up the world around them and expand from all that they see, hear and experience. I’ve seen it with my […]

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My dark first weeks of motherhood

January 18, 2016
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I can hardly believe I survived all the chaos of early new motherhood. At the beginning, I didn’t think I would — at least not with my sanity intact. For nine months, I mentally prepared to share my life unconditionally with a new being. I also did my best to get ready for one of […]

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Editor’s pick: Top 10 of 2015

January 15, 2016
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Last year was a big year, editorially, for Attachment Parenting International (API). There were so many amazingly supportive and educational online magazine features and blog posts! Of the hundreds of articles published by API last year, here is the content that makes it into the top 10 of 2015, based on consistency with API’s ethos […]

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